Wow…
This was bad. I cant sugar coat it.
When you have beads signifying where the toilets are and the beads are broken, you know that something isn’t right to start with. Some are cracked and broken and I haven’t gotten to the bar yet let alone my table.
When I do get there, the room is attractive. I have to say. Empty, but attractive. I can see into the kitchen where I was sat. A late 90′s fad that some people love. I love it because I can see the man who by the end of the meal I want to punch in the face. A little harsh perhaps, but does this man wearing his chef whites really want to call himself a chef?
The soup was good, it was a daily special of butternut squash. A nice bottle of wine eventually arrived at the table once I was down to the last scrape of my soup. The downside of table side opening a bottle of wine is if it goes wrong, it goes drastically wrong. She screwed all the way into the cork and through it. I said nothing. She then starting tugging on some prehistoric metal contraption to get the cork out. Snap! This is still table side. She then pulled and pulled and half the cork came out and half stayed in. Off she went to the less embarrassing empty bar where she could really get in there and save the bottle of wine. Back it came and finally I could enjoy the freshness of the corked pouilly fuisse.
It gets better. The chef is shouting at someone. There are two tables in the restaurant. It must be the pressure. The food arrives a short time later. Now in all of my days of eating steak, I have seen most cuts. As partial as I am to red meat, this did not take the biscuit. I ordered the Strip Steak. Note that it wasn’t the New York Strip, it wasn’t even from Angola, it was just a Strip. A strip of what you ask? I should have. Where was my alarm bell???? Damn it! It looked like a chard filet, but it wasn’t. The genius himself took a ‘lump’ of ‘strip’ meat and then proceeded to butterfly it like I was cooking chicken on the beach. He then turned it inside out so the bottom of the lump was sitting on the top. So weird. No pun intended, but to top it off there was a wedge of cheese placed on top of said rubiks cube that was processed well before McKeeva had his first fry up! (He has a few since then).
Also at the table was a pasta dish that wasn’t touched, a salad that you could get at the Kirk’s salad bar on Tuesday lunch time and another ‘Strip’. I know some restaurants can be hit and miss. I get it. I dont use this platform to simply bitch and moan about restaurants for the sake of it. I think there needs to be an independant point of view which is the only reason for some anonymity. Keeping it honest Iguess you could say.
To pay over $250.00 for such food was an insult frankly and I don’t mind paying hefty amounts for lunches – at all. I saw one server and the chef in the building – no manager was present. I think that this is a downfall of Cayman restaurants as well. The managers should be out at tables smiling and shaking hands. It saves bad experiences and it extenuates good experiences. If you are a restaurant manager reading this, dont think that doesnt apply to YOU. It does. Get out there, visit the tables and ENSURE repeat business. How hard can it be?
Walking out of Hemingway’s a sense of relief came over me. Not only to find the non beaded entrance to a toilet – fast – but to feel warm again after the teeth chattering experience I had.
Grand Cayman Beach Suites
West Bay Road
+1 (345) 945-5700 or 949-1234
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